我的藏獒开了我的花苞

There is this bitter voidness that has been growing within me whenever I look at the swollen bellies of the soon to be mothers and without my mate by my side that emptiness has been smothering me every night.

"You can infuse lemon and mint leaves directly into the meat. It will give that aftertaste the females are desiring for." Moira pays heed to my words and instantly moves towards the cutting board to slice up the lemon whilst I gather the leaves and stand beside her to rinse them in a bowl filled with fresh water.

"Have you not been craving anything lately?" She asks randomly. I understand everyone is curious whether Phobos\'s seed has done the job or not.

"I have. I have been craving for my male." Moira lets out a quiet sigh of understanding, it is not the answer she was seeking but she empathizes for she once was in the same position as me.

"You were almost killed and this was the only way Alpha could protect you."

"That is where the misunderstanding sprouts from. His beast merely wished to mark me as his nothing more. It was the only way he could get to me for I constantly pushed him away. There was a sense of urgency that clouded his actions for he was scared Phobos would reign him back before he could take his rightful portion of my flesh."

"We do not understand why he fancies you. It is the first where the pack has encountered the beast chasing after the human."

"Yes, that is what alarmed me in the first place for it is uncommon to be desired by your mate\'s wolf. But Phobos has always been different from us and his beast cherishes me, Moira."

"How do you know this?"

"Because I feel him now. He meant no harm and this distance between us is killing him just as me. I wish to go bring Phobos back not purely for him but also for his beast. I want to bring both, my males, home."

She gasps faintly to my truth as she cannot believe I have uttered such words knowing very well my life was almost taken by him. Over the past month, the beast\'s emotions were conveyed little by little through the mark he gave me. It terrorised me at first I shall admit for it was as though I was drowning in the vast oceans unable to reach the surface and if I sought to swim away he merely clutched my ankle and yanked me back down farther below water. We were invariably fighting and at one point I truly thought he was trying to kill me.

But with each day I sank, I discovered that the bottom of the ocean was not a scary place but...haven. A home the beast had built for me and my wolf, just like Phobos wished to build one for us in the wilderness. All I needed was to do was to accustom to that feeling and lose the fear I felt for him. He needed to mark me for Phobos and I kept pushing him away from me and my wolf all in the name of safety, he needed for me to see to feel the yearning he possesses to simply be loved by us.

"I need you to help me, Moira."

"Of course, Luna." She says pausing her task to give heed to me.

"Drakho says Phobos is staying in a faraway pack but I know that is not true." Her eyes widen and she hurriedly shifts them to her feet peering down at the earth. I clearly hear the pace of her heartbeat quickening and just like that, I have my answer. "I have been patient all this while waiting for the truth to come out not wanting to corner either of you but Drakho and you are two stubborn wolves keeping your mouths sealed as per orders."

"I-I do not know anything, Luna. I am not notified of his whereabouts." She takes a step back and I take one forward trapping her against the table.

"Do not lie to me, Moira. Where is my male?"

"I really do not know, Krlovna." When I open my mouth to intimidate her into spilling the truth I arrest myself my globes broadening to the unexpected smell of fresh blood that captures the entirety of my attention. I immediately hoist my nose skyward sniffing around striving to figure out whom it belongs to.

"I smell blood."

"No, I do not smell anything. A-Anyways do you think I have added enough lemon to the fish? Must I add more?" She questions with a hint of anxiety in her voice whilst boosting the raw meat towards my nose trying to manipulate my sense of smell. I take an unsteady step backwards away from her heat the bowl in my trembling hands plunging to the grass floor whilst the strong scent of metallic blood guides me towards the wilderness.

I take in a shaky breath the rhythms of my heart growing faster with each worrying second, there is no way that male is residing there I had investigated the outer borders several times throughout the last few weeks and found no trace of him. But what if he has returned recently or what if I carelessly missed the obvious hints? This raw smell of blood what if it belongs to him? What if he is hurt?

"No," I whisper aloud with a shake of my head to the negative doubts that fill my mind.

"Luna you mustn\'t," Moira utters from behind me her palm laid gently over my back in a trial to calm me.

I need to go, I need to find him. As his female, it is my responsibility to make sure he is safe and sound. And without sparing another single thought, I run as fast as my feet can take me towards the tree line that warmly welcomes me from a distance. I know it is not safe entering the wastelands without a wolf who knows those grounds by my side but if there is a chance he is there I must take the risk for I know no wolf here shall aid me as they are shackled by his instructions.

"Drakho! Nae krlovna!" Moira screams with terror pointing in my direction and all the wolves are keen to listen to her working together to hinder my path but I am fleet to dodge each trial and make my own route towards the forest. I want to see you. I want to touch you, you stupid male so please be here and do not let my effort go to waste.

(Drakho! Our queen!)

"No! Luna!" Drakho was slow to figure out what was transpiring but he has gotten on track chasing after me like a damn hunter. There is no way I can surpass him in speed but once I get in I can take the obscure trail Phobos showed me last time, and the beta will not be able to find me.

Despite the startled cries of my pack wolves I successfully dart past the tree wall that gives way into the dense forest and trail off towards the side to sneak below the sleeping tree log and crawl forward to the secluded track. Once I am back on my feet I turn around to check if Drakho has caught up but it is just as I thought he was too late to pursue me which gave me enough time to escape him.

Taking a heavy long breath preparing myself for the risk I shall take I commence to shuffle forward, yes I do not know where I am going and yes this might be impetuous but I have come to a position where I will do anything to find him for I am not the female I once was anymore. There is no such thing that a female cannot chase after her male despite the danger and this is my way of showing him just how much I truly love him.

Struggling through the lush plants that obstruct my path I decide to head north following the scent of blood that still lingers in the air, I am not able to figure out if it belongs to him or not for I am caught off guard by numerous dissimilar smells.

All I need to find is that location he showed me last time, the small plot of land which is embraced by sunlight. There is a chance he has made himself a shelter there, he enjoys being here by himself all I need to do is locate him and drag him back home by his ear. He will be punished for his decision.

"Phobos!" I yell out his name into the silence exploring around for his blissful scent only to hear the echo of my desperate voice returning to me. My wolf is withdrawn she is pacing around not liking being in a place which we are unfamiliar with, it unsettles her.

Gritting my teeth I crouch down to shred the lower part of my dress and fling it far, if I need to wander the woods more I need to be free and not have this thing trailing after me limiting my movements.

"I am here alone with no wolf protecting me, I will be eaten by one of the wild creatures if you do not come and stand in front of me this instant! Do you hear me?" I wheeze out. He shall surely come if he is actually present here and heard my voice. Me being in the heart of danger shall draw him to me like a moth to the flame.

A sharp snap of a fallen tree branch that comes from behind me has my excitement mount above the surface. "Phobos?" I call his name softly spinning around expecting to be met with my beloved ocean blues but disappointment has a way of bounding me with every chance it gets. Only this time it brought along a threat to my life for I am greeted by one of our prime predators and her cubs.

She observes me with her onyx beady eyes tracking my change of posture and so do I holding in my breath working to not make any sudden movement that shall agitate her. One of her cubs courageously leaps forward from behind her protective limbs and toddles towards me filled with curiosity and my breath hitches. The brown bear lunges forward a few steps for she thinks I am a peril to her advancing cub.. This exact situation was what Phobos warned me of.