YM778.TV Chapter 41: The Weight of Guilt
His tears never stopped streaming down as guilt gripped him by the throat, suffocating him.
\'I blamed them when I was the most overconfident. I didn\'t even take Luna with us. It\'s my fault if she died!\'
Those thoughts rumbled in his mind, exposing his mistake in plain sight and making him feel his heart bleed.
Even his fists colliding with the creature\'s body, shattering it to morsels of flesh and exoskeletons, didn\'t help with his chaotic emotions because... the shrieking adversary was only a facade, a venting target and substitute.
Because the one who enraged him was himself.
He punched and punched again. Even when the ant\'s head exploded like a rotten melon under the unbridled assault, he continued, assaulting the slope\'s soil behind without care.
Noticing their lord\'s dangerous state of mind amidst the pounding noises, and with enlarged eyes, Bart and Garduck lunged at him urgently.
They tackled him to the ground, forcing him to stop against his will.
"Move!"
His voice cracked, and his muscles bulged under his two loyal subjects\' weight.
Yet, they used their demonic energies, and their claws dug into the ground to immobilise him despite his resistance.
"Calm down, my lord. You\'re only hurting yourself!"
Garduck roared in his ears, worry filling his voice.
He noticed his combat instructor bit his lips as he looked at his hands and followed his eyes, seeing the sad spectacle.
However, he didn\'t care if his bloody knuckles lay bare and broken. He had to vent and remain angry, even enraged, or he would sink into self-blame and sorrowfulness like a broken ship.
"I said, move!"
He spat through gritted teeth, applying more pressure to free his arms from their embrace.
However, Bart\'s sad voice reverberated next.
"I\'m sorry. We were too confident after our promotion. It\'s our fault if Shihan died."
A tear rolled down the bulky demon\'s cheeks, proving that even their species could cry.
Yet, his focus was on the words. Words that made him tremble like a leaf battered by a storm. Worse, without the possibility of venting, each second crawling tortured his mind in an infernal pool of regret.
And finally, the flimsy barrier he had erected to keep his guilt away shattered.
"No! It\'s my fault. I-I led everyone into this death trap."
He cried without care for the stoic image he had built in his subjects\' hearts. Why would he care anyway? He had repeated again and again that they wouldn\'t die, yet his very first subject did after a brief six days.
\'I\'m a liar and a fool. And because of me, she died.\'
The scent of blood and acid mixed with his sweat, creating a nauseating setting reflecting his ugly perception of himself at this moment.
However, Bart didn\'t let go. Instead, he shoved his face before his and continued.
"You\'re wrong. We failed to advise you in our excitement. We are to blame, too."
Bart took a sharp inhale, his teeth sinking under his clenched jaws and the grief lacerating his heart.
"Even if we didn\'t spend much time with her, everyone liked and listened to her requests. Do you know why?"
The metallic tang of blood filled his mouth as his sharp teeth pierced his lips.
"Each night, she spoke to us and explained why we should give you a chance from the very first day. She was the one who opened our eyes to your uniqueness and incited us to follow you. We also knew about the risks but still did our best to change. We\'re not playing a game.
We are risking our lives to help you build the nation you and she dreamed about, so get your mind together, rise, and guide us as she said you would!"
His breathing hastened, and his heart ached with each sentence Bart forced into his ears. Louder than a thunder strike, they deafened him with more remorse.
He had taken this conquest mission and realm as a game, yet his subjects\' deaths were definitive.
Noticing his state, Garduck released his hold and interjected.
"Until the end, she believed in you and died with pride and relief to protect Asha, Puck, and Ondine. Her life was meaningful, and don\'t forget we\'re demons. We expected to become tools for the lords\' amusements the second the demon kings threw us into their territories. Yet, you proved us wrong and showed us we could trust others and unite as one."
As his subjects\' comforting words echoed in his ears, he shook his head, remaining unconvinced.
Now that he knew about the silent help and all the work she had done in the shadows, the pain struck him twice harder, so how could he forget his mistake this easily?
DING
However, a sudden system notification almost shattered his eardrums, and a fiery window brightened the damp tunnel without his command.
[Tiamat: Take it as a painful lesson, my dear contractor. Do you now realise we\'re at war and people will die? Great, because I\'m not playing either. Wake up from your delusion, raise an army and conquer everything!]
Before he could answer, his eyes enlarged as a new notification appeared.
[Tiamat issued you a unique quest: Shihan\'s redemption.]
Bath Shihan\'s corpse in the purgatory\'s original flame to revive her.
Reward: Shihan\'s revival with an improved bloodline.
Failure: You\'ll stay a guilty bastard.
Simultaneously, the sound of water and the smell of salt filled the tunnel.
He snapped his eyes to the side, stunned into mutism by the quest and what he saw next.
A chaotic sea engulfed Shihan\'s body, leaving nothing of her behind its passage.
Yet, amidst his flowing tears, he smiled in relief.
\'I can fix things up. Thank you, Tiamat.\'
His blurry eyes recovered their sharp sheen, and his heart drummed a war song in his chest as a new goal fueled it with unbending determination.
\'Wait for me, Shihan. Even if you\'ll miss a lot, I\'ll bring you back home.\'
He pushed himself off the ground and narrowed his eyes intently at his subjects\' downcast faces.
"I failed as a lord and showed you my weakness. But it\'s over. From today, we\'ll never lose a friend again!"
The sound of his fist striking his chest twice echoed as he burned this vow into his heart.
His subjects responded with solemn expressions yet didn\'t speak and waited for his next instructions as he pondered.
Stupid escapades were over. He would focus on improving his demonic essence control, master his class and arm his fighters to the teeth first. They had to evolve, too, but that\'d be for later. For now, he had to decide what to do about this tunnel.
\'It\'ll be a waste not to clean the colony now that the boss is dead. I also came here to get the equipment blueprints.\'
His brows creased into a frown as he opened his kill notification.
[You and your subjects have defeated the tier two level 24 boss: unnamed ant general. You have gained 4800 experience points.]
[Congratulations on levelling up. Please check your interface and decide how to distribute your points.]