校花娇荡吟喘上课

Chapter 320: Special Planet (2)

"Dear,"

The effect of this single word was tremendous.

“Aren’t you going a bit too far?”

—Don’t say something so crazy. No way that’s happening.

For the first time, both Jeonggu and Jiseon agreed on something.

In response, Yeongwoo nodded as if he understood.

“It’s nice to see the two of you finally on the same page. But…!”

Swoosh!

Finally, Yeongwoo drew bastard sword from his belt and pointed it at his parents.

“It’s been over 30 years since you two created me, and you still haven’t figured out how to address each other? Does that make sense?”

In desperation, Jeonggu begged Yeongwoo to spare him.

“No, Yeongwoo, we’ve only really known each other for less than two days!”

That was true.

One day at the Renaissance in Bulkwang-dong, and one day in the reset world.

Even combining their time across two worlds, the time they had spent together was barely two days.

In essence, they were practically strangers.

—Come on! Just because people are forced together doesn’t mean they’ll stay together.

Jiseon also voiced her objection with a sharp tone, to which Yeongwoo twisted the sword threateningly and delivered a biting line.

“Then what about that day? You two already got together once, so why can’t you do it again? Thanks to that, you even have a son now!”

“…What?”

—What the hell is this brat saying…?

Bastard on a dizzying tightrope.

Regardless, as the parents of this crazy kid, both felt a chill each time their son crossed a line.

“Isn’t it normal for married couples to keep going, even if they’re not all that into each other, for the sake of their child? So, why not at least pretend to be a married couple, for my sake!”

—You idiot, that’s not the same at all!

“What’s the difference? And you might have to get married today—how long are you going to keep hurling insults at each other?”

—You…!

Jiseon started to curse again but stopped herself.

At least half of what their son had just said made some sense.

Strictly speaking, it was only Jiseon who hurled curses in the relationship, but nonetheless, his point was generally valid.

“I’m not expecting you two to become the world’s greatest couple suddenly. But at least try, alright? Do you think it’s easy to become parents?”

With that, Yeongwoo pointed at his father.

“Dad, you go first.”

“W-What?”

“Call my mom ‘dear.’”

Terror swept over Jeonggu’s face.

“I-I can’t… No, I won’t. She’d actually kill me.”

As much as he feared his son, he feared Jiseon even more.

“Why not? You can do it. Now you have to. Mom won’t hurt you. Right, Mom?”

—…….

Click.

Yeongwoo walked over and gestured towards Jiseon.

“Alright, now do it. From what I see, the first step to fixing your relationship is changing how you speak to each other.”

Yeongwoo thought that their relationship might improve a little if they stopped using terms like “Jiseon” and “dumbass” and instead addressed each other as “dear.”

After all, to complete the last mission of the “Restore the Roots” achievement, he had to make them into proper parents who blessed his existence.

“Just do it, already!”

With an intense look in his eyes, Yeongwoo pressed Bastard to his father’s throat, and Jeonggu looked at Jiseon with a terrified expression.

Could he really go through with this?

To dare call someone he’d met only briefly decades ago, who was practically a stranger to him, such an intimate term…

“D-De…”

When the first syllable left Jeonggu’s mouth, a blue light flashed across the clear sky.

The Planetary Examiners were watching this moment as well.

Yechan and Bantubangtong, who had also been holding their breath while watching, silently cheered Jeonggu on.

‘Go, Yeongwoo’s dad!’

—Summon your courage, human!

And at last…

“D… Dear.”

For the first time in his life, Jeonggu declared himself as the spouse of the Iron-Blooded Empress, Song Jiseon.

They had never had a wedding, nor had they made any promises for the future; in fact, they were still essentially strangers to each other.

“Alright, now.”

Yeongwoo turned to his mother with momentum, only to see her raising a massive greatsword.

Swoosh!

“……!”

—Why the hell would I be his ‘dear’ when we aren’t even married yet, you little punk?! This is all illegal!

Her muttering about legality in the midst of all this revealed that Song Jiseon was clearly panicking.

“What’s illegal about it? The universe will soon validate it!”

Clang!

With the power of the universe behind him, Yeongwoo blocked her attack, further enraging her.

Through the blocked blade, she could see her foolish future husband.

—Should’ve killed this brat ages ago.

As Jiseon glared at Jeonggu, who stood frozen beside her, Yeongwoo hurriedly summoned their tax consultant.

“Kubu! Mr. Kubu!”

A gap in the air opened up near Yeongwoo and Jiseon, and Kubu blinked his enormous eye.

Swoosh.

—What on earth is this?

Jiseon’s anger quickly dissipated at the sight of Kubu’s odd appearance.

Kubu, equally surprised by the bloodthirsty setting he had walked into, blinked rapidly before addressing Yeongwoo.

—It is an honor to once again meet the master of the Bastard, Mayor of Metal Seoul, Jeong Yeongwoo07!

Then, he blinked toward Jiseon and offered his greeting.

—I am in the presence of Song Jiseon, Ice Dragon, and biological mother of Jeong Yeongwoo07!

—Uh…?

Jiseon had never received a cosmic greeting in her life.

—What is all this?

Naturally, she turned to her son.

In matters like this, her son was the expert.

“What do you mean? It’s a greeting. In the universe, they address people with titles based on their achievements and statuses.”

—Achievements? That’s my title?

Jiseon looked back at Kubu, replaying his earlier words in her mind.

Song Jiseon, Ice Dragon, and biological mother of Jeong Yeongwoo07.

She finally understood that this was her official status in the universe.

—Could this be considered my cosmic business card?

“Pretty much. The difference is that the universe evaluates it, not you…”

Before Yeongwoo could explain further, a sharp blue light burst from Jiseon.

Flash!

—Is my business card limited to being some freak’s mom? Just this and a monster?

“…That’s how the universe sees it. Even your past as a corporate mogul doesn’t hold any value here.”

Yeongwoo held back more words he could have said.

‘They used ‘biological mother.’’

In the universe, words are never chosen lightly.

Kubu’s title, “biological mother,” was literal.

As Yeongwoo felt every day, Song Jiseon was not yet his true mother.

So far, she was merely the one who bore him, only his biological mother.

And the universe recognized that, officially labeling her as the “biological mother” of Jeong Yeongwoo07.

—Hey, that brat… He didn’t even say it was an honor to meet me.

Jiseon’s sharp instincts caught on.

“Of course not; it’s not actually an honor to meet you yet. In terms of the cosmic hierarchy, Kubu ranks higher.”

After reminding her of her place in the universe, Yeongwoo carefully nudged her sword to the side.

Swoosh.

“Mom, if you want that revenge, it’s not a simple matter. You’ll have to seek out someone with significant status in the universe.”

Yeongwoo pointed to the sky with his fingertip.

Then, he swirled his hand around and pointed to Jeonggu.

"But if my mother marries my father and helps establish my family… things might turn out quite differently, wouldn’t they?"

“What nonsense are you spouting now?”

“Calling it nonsense, really? Would you rather live the rest of your life being disregarded, even by mere tax agents of the universe?”

At that, Kubu attempted, for the first time, to object.

― I wouldn’t say I’m disregarded…

"Shut up, Kubu! A person without a mouth sure has a lot to say!"

Squawk!

Yeongwoo thrust Bastard before Kubu\'s eyeball, and even Jiseon chimed in.

― Honestly, leaving out the term ‘glory’ so blatantly, that does sound like disrespect.

― ….

There was nothing left to say.

In front of these crazed people, Kubu could only hold his tongue.

― So what exactly are you planning to do?

“What I’m saying is, my father’s marriage is a necessary condition for this grand venture. And the beginning of it all…”

The single word, “Honey.”

It begins with a small change in terms of address.

― Damn, that crap again.

“Though the beginnings are humble, the end shall be glorious. Don’t you know that?”

Then, pointing to the sky once more, Yeongwoo began selling dreams.

“To build a family to venture into space, we need a proper family first. Everything happening now is laying the foundation.”

― ….

“So, Mother, cut the nonsense and just say one word. ‘Honey.’ After all, nobody can see your face.”

Indeed, for Jiseon, hidden behind her mask, it was much easier to say the word “Honey.”

“Do it quickly! That one word from you, Mother, is what sets the grand journey in motion!”

As Yeongwoo pointed fiercely to the sky again, Song Jiseon reluctantly let the word slip.

― …Honey.

“What did you say? I couldn’t quite hear it!”

― I said, Honey, you punk! Are your ears clogged?

Squawk!

Having been forced to say “Honey” twice already, Jiseon grit her teeth, raising her sword menacingly.

Startled, Kubu closed his eye deeply and recoiled.

Swish!

Then, he urgently revealed a shocking fact to Yeongwoo.

― Jeong Yeongwoo07 has no parents!

“What?”

― What?

This shocking revelation from Kubu was impactful not only to Yeongwoo but also to Jiseon.

― Hey, tax agent. What the hell does that mean?

If her son, Jeong Yeongwoo, had no parents, then he wouldn’t be able to establish the family he so desperately wanted.

And that would mean Jiseon herself would have to continue living on this wretched planet.

For her, it was the worst-case scenario.

At this, Kubu blinked his eye, looking at Yeongwoo, Jiseon, and finally Jeonggu in turn.

― According to universal law, the concept of ‘parent’ is valid only if there is an official agreement between both parties.

“What exactly does that mean? Both of them agreed already. Mr. Kim Jeonggu is my father, and Ms. Song Jiseon is…”

Yeongwoo paused mid-sentence, suddenly realizing something, and closed his eyes as if in sudden comprehension.

“Oh… That’s ‘father’ and ‘mother’ separately.”

― Exactly.

In the universe, ‘father,’ ‘mother,’ and ‘parent’ were distinct concepts.

In other words, Yeongwoo had physical parents, but conceptually, he didn’t have them.

“Then how can I get official parents?”

Yeongwoo asked Kubu, who rolled his gigantic, universal-law-bound eye around in a circle.

― Only by performing an official agreement ceremony following the forms and procedures specified by the family court.

“An agreement ceremony? Are you talking about a wedding?”

Yeongwoo asked for confirmation, and before Kubu could even respond, Jiseon took a step back, and Jeonggu hid himself even further behind Yeongwoo.

Then, shortly after.

― That’s right. According to current disclosure, the ceremony requires gifts equal to the number of participants, at least two agreement guarantors, and at least five witnesses…

As Kubu recited the structure of a universal wedding ceremony, Yeongwoo waved his hand to interrupt the tax agent’s lecture and got straight to the point.

“Hold on, answer this first.”

― Yes. Go ahead.

“Witnesses? So, is there a custom of guests?”

At this, Kubu paused for a moment and rolled his eye around, seemingly trying to interpret the concept of ‘guests,’ which was unique to Earth.

― Witnesses and guests on Earth serve slightly different roles and purposes.

“Really?”

― However, there are what we call ‘blessers.’

“What are those?”

― Each party to the agreement and the ceremony host may select a certain number of blessers to observe the ceremony…

“But that’s basically the same as guests.”

― The agreement parties and the host must submit the list of blessers to the family court.

In other words, they needed to submit a guest list to the court.

“So, wait. How do you summon these guests… blessers? Do you have to send out invitations?”

Kubu blinked his eye.

― The family court handles blesser invitations. However, if an invitee is wanted by the court, they may be difficult to locate, leading to a failure to summon.

“Oh, so the court sends the invitations on your behalf. That’s interesting.”

Nodding as if he finally understood, Yeongwoo then asked the question he had really wanted to ask all along.

“Then… just one more thing. This is the most important part.”

― Go ahead.

“Can I collect congratulatory money?”