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Volume 10, Chapter 5: “Good and Evil” Part 5

On the way back to the dorms, we came across Hirata sitting on one of the benches wearing the same listless expression on his face.

If somebody else were to see him like this, they’d probably reconsider any ideas to call out to him.

After all, nobody had ever seen him like this before.

“He looks pretty defeated.”

“Yeah… He’s completely different from usual.”

Both Haruka and Akito immediately recognized how surreal the situation was.

“I think I’ll try talking to him a little.”

“Give it up Kiyotaka. Wouldn’t it be better to just leave him be right now?”

“Maybe, but there’s something that’s been bothering me.”

“Something that’s been bothering you?”

“Sorry about this, but you guys can head back without me. I don’t feel like he’d be willing to say very much if we tried to reach out to him as a group. If he’s going to get angry with somebody, I’d rather it be just me instead of all of us.”

“…Alright, but the vote happens tomorrow, so just don’t do anything to rub him the wrong way. There’s honestly no way of telling who Hirata’s going to vote for right now.”

I nodded in response to Akito’s advice and separated from the group.

I was grateful that they were able to read the situation and head back to the dorms without looking back.

Before I did anything else, I took a picture of his defeated appearance from a distance and sent it to Kei with a few other details.

“Hirata.”

In order to make the most of this opportunity, I called out to him immediately after I hit send.

“…Ayanokōji-kun.”

“Do you have a minute?”

“Yeah sure. I, uh, also wanted to talk with you.”

It was possible that he had been sitting here waiting for me.

Otherwise, there’d be no point in choosing to sit in such a cold place.

Furthermore, he was sitting off to one side of the bench, quite possibly with the hope of having someone else to sit together with him.

I sat down in the open space beside him.

“A warm spring will be coming soon.”

“Yeah.”

“I… believed that everyone would be able to welcome that spring together. No, even now, somewhere inside my heart, I still do.”

Hirata spoke passionately, even though the class had nearly gone through a collapse not too long ago.

Even though everyone had witnessed his foolish, ugly behavior back in the classroom, this core part of his personality still hadn’t changed.

“Having to leave someone behind… I hate it.”

“There’s nothing we can do about it. Whether it’s me, Yamauchi, or someone else entirely, somebody has to be the sacrifice.”

Hirata’s expression still didn’t carry any hints of emotion.

“Could I entrust it to you?”

“Entrust what?”

“Class C. I want you to lead everyone in my stead from now on.”

“Don’t be so reckless. I wouldn’t be able to do something so outrageous. Hirata, if you want to protect the class, you need to do it yourself.”

“That’s impossible. I… just can’t do that anymore.”

He was probably frustrated with himself for being unable to come to a decision. These kinds of thoughts were probably the only thing he had on his mind.

But that wasn’t everything.

“I made the same mistake again. I even reflected on it back then, and yet…”

Immersed in bitterness, tears began to well up in the corner of his eyes.

I found myself wondering just how much anguish Hirata had gone through because of this exam.

“I’d be able to feel at ease entrusting the class to someone like you.”

He sighed, his white breath dispersing into the cold air.

There was nothing dazzling or enviable about the look on our class leader’s face.

“This special exam. Cast one censure vote for me and one for Yamauchi. It’d be fine for you to cast your last one for Horikita if you want.”

“So you’re telling me I should leave the decision in the hands of the rest of the class.”

There was no need for Hirata to explicitly choose someone.

He could choose to leave it to the other 39 students in the class instead.

“You really are amazing, Ayanokōji-kun.”

“I’m nothing special.”

“I was approached by both Horikita-san and Yamauchi-kun as I’ve sat here. Horikita-san told me to vote for Yamauchi-kun, and Yamauchi-kun told me to vote for you. They both claimed to want something different than the other. However, you’re the only one who hasn’t tried to throw someone else under the bus. That’s not something just anyone can do.”

That was only because, from a strategic standpoint, it was better to not say anything.

In this situation, it wasn’t a very good idea to try and force Hirata to vote along with you.

It’s just that I had come to this conclusion ahead of time.

“I’m glad I talked with you. I… I really feel like I might be able to find an answer now.”

“Is that so?”

Hirata stood up.

It seemed as though he had found his own way to get through the exam.

But, I wasn’t about to agree with his way of thinking.

“Wanna head back?”

At his suggestion, the two of us began walking back to the dormitories without exchanging another word.

(Chapter 5 End)